Artsplorational Design

Hi, this is my web site which I have developed to showcase and explain my art. My purpose in creating this web site is two fold. One, I want to share my art with other people. Two, I want to show others how my art helped create a method of communication that eventually saved my sanity and more importantly my life. I am not going to go into great detail about my early childhood experiences. Let's just say I had a loving mother and father, wonderful Grandparents, supportive and understanding Aunts and Uncles, who no matter how hard they tried couldn't prevent some of the horrors that occurred during my childhood. I learned from a very young age that talking about my horrific experiences was not allowed and was in fact condemned. I also learned that feelings were acceptable if kept locked up deep inside, surfacing only through angry bursts of frustration and uncontrolled rage. I was taught from a very young age that alcohol would help keep those feelings and words inside through a growing numbing that affected both mind and body. I was taught and believed in God. I learned that loyalty to family was revered. I learned that getting close to others could result in pain and agony. I learned that getting close to others could result in unconditional love and support.

Through my drawings I learned that I could talk about what happened to me and other family members without reprisal or condemnation. I found that my drawings gave me a freedom from the struggle to keep all that I knew about horror deep inside. I also found that many people thought my art was good and I got positive attention for it. Later I found that my art would make many people uncomfortable, confused about my intent in creative expression. As I've gone through my early art I realized that I didn't keep the horrors to myself. I drew about them continuously. I found a way to talk when all talking was strictly prohibited. I could tell my story disguised in pictures that were too abstract for those who did not know to understand. I have continued drawing in that context. I have found that my art still speaks my inner self even though the secrets of horror have long been revealed, acknowledged and talked about. The pictures have changed some with color added, faces that are not so frightening, and items that mirror reality in a closer context. When asked, "It's good, but what does it mean?" I often reply, "what ever you want it to."